“You have heard that it was said,
 ‘You shall not commit adultery.’   But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already   committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5: 27-28).
These   words spoken by our Lord provide an excellent opportunity for us to   reflect upon the Sacrament of Marriage.
The Sacrament of Marriage represents  a lifelong commitment on the  part of the spouses.  For better, for  worse, for richer, for poorer, in  sickness and in health, until death do  you part; marriage is forever.

Increasingly the dominant American culture has intensified the barrage  against marriage. Every day millions of living rooms are inundated with  the lustful images depicted in soap operas, situation comedies, movies,  talk shows and music videos. Magazines extol immoral lifestyles. Weekly  tabloids play up the scandalous sexual proclivities of film, sports and  television celebrities.
This onslaught against marriage has  been relentless, seemingly working toward discrediting the notion of  Christian marriage as an institution and cornerstone of society.
It is very easy for married couples to become discouraged and overwhelmed.  For this reason I wrote a book for men  which has helped thousands of men around the world to see the beauty of   the Sacrament of Marriage and it has given them the practical tools to   live a faithful, successful and joyful marriage.
Since there is so much confusion  about marriage even among  Catholics, it is important that we remember  some basics facts about  marriage as a sacrament.
What Circumstances Can Make A Marriage Invalid?
1)  A man and a woman living together  under the  same roof, unmarried and engaging in sexual intimacy are  committing  fornication, a mortal sin.
2) Parents who tolerate this promiscuity in their homes also commit a mortal sin.
3) A civil marriage between two  Catholics or  between a Catholic and a Protestant is not a marriage.   This may be a  sin of fornication or adultery depending on the  circumstances.
4) A divorced Catholic spouse who  enters into a new  marriage civilly before receiving an annulment commits  adultery.  He  or she needs to wait for the annulment before entering  into a new  marriage.
5) When a divorced Catholic  spouse seeking an  annulment does not wait for the annulment process  to be  completed and enters into a new marriage in any Protestant church,  this  too is adultery.  The divorced spouse is still married.
6)  A Catholic who marries in a  Protestant church  without the proper dispensation from the bishop of the  diocese enters  into an invalid marriage.
7) A marriage between homosexual partners is not a marriage.
A Guide To Handling The Above Cases
In all of the cases stated above,  those living in any of these  irregular situations cannot receive Holy  Communion until they reconcile  their lives with God.   Reconciliation  can take place in the following  manner:
Case #1 – The couple will first need  to split  up, confess their sin and receive absolution; and then marry  in the  Church. If they really love one another, they will be more  concerned  about the salvation of their souls.
Case #2 – The parents who have been  tolerating this  situation of sexual intimacy before marriage need to  become more  demanding and urge the couple to split up and marry in the  Church.  The  parents need to go to Confession.
Case #3 – If no previous marriage  exists, couples  in these circumstances must go to Confession and then  contract a  valid marriage in the Catholic Church.
Cases # 4 and #5 – Before these  individuals can go  to Confession and receive Communion, they will need  to obtain an  annulment.  If there are no dependent children living in  the household,  they should split up until they have obtained the  annulment.  If there  
are dependent children in the home, the  couple should avoid  sexual intimacy by separating or by living in  separate rooms until they  have obtained the annulment.  By living in a  state of celibacy, they  can then approach the Sacraments of Confession  and Eucharist.
Case #6 – Those having attempted marriage in this manner need to have the marriage validated and blessed by a Catholic priest.
Case #7 –Ceremonies of this sort can  never be  marriages. Catholics must never attend these ceremonies  because they  give rise to scandal.
Moral Relativism And Hedonism Has Contributed To Great Confusion Among Catholics
Aside from all of the  confusion caused by moral relativism and  hedonism, more Catholics in  recent decades have become confused by the  alarming number of annulments  being granted to Catholics on what many  regard as slender or  insufficient grounds.
An annulment is not a Catholic divorce, as some mistakenly believe. A  valid marriage signifies the full  and free consent of a man and woman  to live together in Holy Matrimony  for the rest of their lives.  An  annulment means that an impediment  exists which has hindered the full  and free consent of those contracting  marriage.
Many Catholic priests agree with my  experience, that in the majority  of cases, the large number of failed  marriages has resulted from the  couples having  been insufficiently  prepared for the Sacrament of  Marriage in the first place. True, many  couples 
do marry for  the wrong reasons; however, parishes in  many parts of the country have  been negligent in providing thorough and  caring marriage  preparation for engaged couples.
Chastity Is The Best Preparation For Marriage
Still, the best preparation for  marriage is Christian chastity.  
It is this virtue of chastity that helps a married couple to remain faithful to one another.  But, if young  people are not being sufficiently challenged to  cultivate this virtue,  we may be marrying many  who have developed profound sexual addictions  through a promiscuous  life style; and these addictions in and  of themselves will not allow  for the necessary full and free consent to  take place.
Whether clergy or concerned lay  people, we need to take the time to  help young people live chastely in a  very difficult world.  Encouraging  them to develop a rich Eucharistic  life, to use the Sacrament of  Confession frequently, to practice  devotion to Mary and to avail  themselves of on-going spiritual  direction, all these are the proven  ways by which we can help strengthen  young people to live out their  relationship with Jesus and each other.
The Church must not capitulate to  the clamors of the secular world.   By the holiness of their lives, both  the clergy and married couples  can be a wonderful help to those who are  called to the Sacrament of  Marriage.
Fidelity Is The Path In Which One Finds Personal Joy and Peace
For those who are already married,  mutual fidelity is the path that  provides personal joy and peace.   However, subject as we are to the  effects of Original Sin, we are all  fallen creatures of flesh and  blood, and it is normal that fidelity  can prove a struggle. For married  couples a daily renewal of their  personal commitment to their spouses,  a well disciplined spiritual life  and a realistic acceptance  of their own personal limitations will  provide the lasting strength  to remain faithful until death.
As a priest, I have always delighted  in the exuberant joy of young  couples as they marry and then  bring their first child to the parish to  be baptized.  I have always  admired those elderly couples, who after  the many years of happiness and  patience, still faithfully wear their  wedding rings by now embedded in  the worn and wrinkled fingers that  have been tried by the adversities of  life.
The Church Always Welcomes Those Who Suffer In Difficult Marital Situations
Finally, although the Catholic  Church upholds the indissolubility of  marriage, the Church always  welcomes her children who are divorced and  separated.  Those who suffer  from difficult marital situations are  always welcomed as living members  of Christ’s Church.  Even in those  situations where individuals may not  be able to participate fully in  the Eucharist, the doors of the Catholic  Church remain open to  all, welcoming all to be living members of the  family of God.
No matter how difficult a personal  history or situation may be,  there is always a solution for those who  are open to doing God’s will.  And all those who are entrusted with the  pastoral care of souls must be  kind, patient, compassionate,  understanding and willing to spend a lot  of time ministering to all  those who seek their loving care.
This weekend many will be  celebrating Saint Valentine’s Day.  The  annual celebration of this  beautiful day provides married couples to  renew their love for each  other.  This feast day also provides young  people who preparing for the  Sacrament of Marriage to live a profoundly  chaste love.  Again, as I  explained in 
my book, chastity is the antidote to lust.
Lust is a distortion of love.  Chastity is true love.